Kim Lute a light skinned writer says most of her female friends are
white because black women are difficult to befriend in an article tittled ‘The Problem with Black Women’ which was published on Huffington Post Kim explained her instance and experiences being of lighter complexion.
Her article below….
Welcome to the plight of the light African American woman navigating
the “darker the berry the sweeter the juice” cosmos, where mere
differences (fine hair to thicker locks and thin lips to billowy pouts)
serve as the basis for generational division. Sadly, I recently learned
that these divisive lines, created generations ago, remain
frustratingly in place.
In all fairness, this “mulatto” (which technically I am not) has led a
far easier life simply because I lack darkness. The unwritten rule is
that the darkest women are the most burdened while lighter black women
are, I suppose, damned to “house Negro problems” that equate to mere
hiccups in days that are perpetually long with happiness, job promotions
and our pick of viable suitors.
Dark or light, black women are long
overdue to finally own up to our deep-rooted resentment toward one
another. No, I may not have lost out on a promotion, but when I walk
into a room I am still deemed an “other.” It’s not clear to most to what
extent I am unlike the majority, but it’s enough to ensure my piece of
the American pie is unfairly smaller than non-blacks.
Allow me to join an already uncomfortable conversation. I’m going out
of my cotton-picking mind trying to convince my darker sisters that I’m
not their competitor, and that loving who I am, and what I look like,
isn’t a condemnation of darker women. If I’ve made great strides in my
career it is because I’ve faltered, failed and tried again, ad nauseam.
But is also because society finds me less threatening. I do not believe
I’m prettier than any other woman, and know that my finest qualities
have nothing to do with my “funny-colored eyes” or “fine hair.” I’m
saddened that we have imposed a self-defeating value system based mainly
on our exterior differences. And contrary to certain beliefs, I too
have experienced the most blatant racists insults, perhaps more so than
others because I’m a writer who targets her subjects indiscriminately.
Don’t let this “light, damn near white” complexion fool you.
As a journalist, author and the designated “light girl” in my coterie,
I’m frankly “Fanny Lou-Hamer tired” of the nitpicking among black women.
Since moving to Atlanta in the millennia, I’ve befriended
mostly white women. Why? The unvarnished truth lies somewhere between my
own emotional hang-ups and the fact that most of the darker black women
I’ve met are competitive, strident, pushy and critical of my decisions.
As such, it’s been easier to socialize with those women who value my
friendship without stipulations and constant backtalk. Thus, my
friendships with white women are neat, unfettered and based solely on
our likes and dislikes.
And instead of forcing my friendship on
black women who want nothing to do with me, I’ve allowed my other
relationships to develop organically even if it meant there was a
glaring absence of color that would cause my ancestral foremothers to
spin in their unmarked graves.
So why is it so hard for some black women (myself very much included)
to foster and gain positive long-term friendships with each other? The
initial response would be petty jealousy, arrogance and confrontational
behavior, systemic roadblocks that were put in place long before this
generation was born. The whole truth, I suspect, harkens back to
slavery, in which blacks as a whole were forcibly pitted against one
another; no group more so than black women. Lighter mothers, daughters
and sisters were given an unfair, unjust and amoral advantage over
so-called jezebels, mammies and jigaboos which fostered disheartening
prejudices that continue to stain and cripple our modern day
You can read the full article Huffington Post